whoo, that was a lot of nudity

yes that's right. I just got through a whole lot of porn. haha, my
sister reads this and i know when i talk about sex with her, she gets
uncomfortable. so sis, if you are reading this--i recommend you turn
your eyes and click the "back" button to wherever you came from.

anyways, being the lesbian that i am, it is dificult to find lesbian
porn. most of the lesbian stuff i've seen are geared towards the
straight world. wtf is that? yeah lesbians get horny too you know.
anyways the porn i've seen does not turn me on in any way. Those girls
have loong manicured nails, ahhhh! stay away from me. i'm gonna bleed
and it's not because my hymen broke! it's your nails you damn bitch!

so i was in a horny mood and since my g/f has this subscription to
porn--i figured, why not. and so straight porn turns me on. yeah, it
makes me want to have sex with a man. is that weird? but i know that
if i had to get through with it, it would not be the right thing for
me. i would feel used like a piece of meat. but the feeling i get from
watching those porn, i wonder how those girls do it? what is that
freedom that allows them to have sex uninhibited by the camera? after
an hour or so i got sick of that that dick & pussy crap that i stopped
watching and left the site. enough of that stuff. what is interesting
is that one of the girls i recognized off a website i use to visit
long ago. A site that had girls wrestling and whoever loses gets
fucked by the other girl with a strap-on. it turned me on for about a
month and then i stopped watching. oh where oh where is my g/f to take
away these feelings of desire? oh yeah, she's in a coffeeshop
somewhere studying to be a doctor. she's too busy to spend some TIME
with her g/f.

speaking of my gf, she is actually going to leave me in about 9 days
to go see family in the city. that means i'd be alone for about 2.5
weeks! i don't know how i'm going to spend x-mas without my family or
my gf but i'll try my best.

Bonus Time!

I got my bonus check from my job today! hip hooray!

And I went to the dentist today and instead of paying for the total
amount of $151.00, my co-pay amount was only $40. hip hip hooray!!

So my g/f and I went out to celebrate with dinner out. Not too bad for
today's spendings. I also received an application form for the
Flexible spending account... this is going to be a toughie for me to
predict how much i'm going to spending for this upcoming year.

College Classes again

I'm thinking of going back to my community college to take some
classes in January. Maybe enter the nursing program in Fall 2007.
Yeah, nursing. I should probably call the hospitals in town to see if
i chould shadow a nurse or a respiratory therapist. i went to the
community college yesterday morning spoke to an advisor and filled out
a college application, paid my $20 application fee and today i sent
out my transcripts. Yup, that's it. If everything falls into place I
will be able to start off with an anatomy class and move towards
nursing in the fall. That sounds exciting don't it? I think so.

currently i've been feeling a little friend-less. my g/f seems to be
always busy with school and most of my other friends in town are busy
with finals. i was so close to placing a personal ad on craigslist to
find someone to hangout. Someone who isn't a student and have bunches
of time on their hands to hang out sometime. Go shopping, drink
coffee, play videogames with me, go to the bookstore or just plain
hang out. my little group of friends is going to dwindle even further
when they graduate in the springtime and move back to the city. i
won't have anybody left except for my g/f. i better do something about
this... or else i'll be friendless for sure. i fear that i won't find
someone i would click with. ah wells i'm gonna try something-maybe
really put up that ad for a friend.

Invest in yourself

my girlfriend and i were talking about career/dream jobs and our
retirement strategy. She thinks i worry too much at such a young age
that I am already thinking about how much i will have for retirement.
here's what i think: since i'm not planning on having any kids i won't
have children who will be watching out for me. I have to make enough
to provide for myself independently. i don't think i'm planning too
early because it takes about 30-40 yrs to build up a hefty amount. And
considering inflation at 5% per year and the american dollar getting
weaker. that just means i have to work harder at making something for
myself. granted, my current job is in an industry that makes just
enough for my living expenses i need to spend wisely.

i'm trying to think of two things at once. That one, it is important
to focus on my future. Currently i work as residential recovery
advocate with the mental health industry. i help my clients with their
recovery goals so that they may one day live independently. I hope to
take some more classes next fall to work as a respiratory therapist
and work in the hospitals. Everyone has their share of hospital stays
and i want to be aware of what goes on in the hospitals.

secondly, the thing i'm worried about as well is my retirement. my
hope is to retire with my g/f in a comfortable life. I need to buy a
house and to have enough to spend about $30,000 a year for 10 yrs.
That's only an estimate if my retiring years is going to be 10 yrs or
longer.