I Kissed You Tonight

I kissed you tonight
you made me feel the sexiest of the all
and then you fell from my light
when you insisted it is bad to draw
two girls at once,

by the kisses you keep two aside
I asked you what lie you're living
Would you rather live the truth

you chose the lie
you kissed me again
I kissed you back
I live in your lie

you play my heart into two
the pain you put me through
when i realize how
you fool us three

but i cannot undo
this love i bring myself low

-katkathy

I find her to be so selfish. Her actions and words to be only in her self-interest. I feel as if she keeps me and S by her side because she wants the best of both worlds. She wants to keep the three of us as friends, that as well as the "friends w/ benefits" thing. It's sickening, how I let her play me into her hands. At the same time I realize this, I'm too dumb to not do anything about it. I am stronger than this. I can do this. I can let her go. But the problem really is, do I really want to let her go? And truth is, no, not really. It makes me feel bad that I can't do it. I need her companionship, I need her friendship, and I love our kisses. This relationship seems to still hold value, at the same time it hurts me to know that everynight she kisses me, she does the same to the other girl as well. She kisses the both of us!! Funny thing is, we're in rooms right next to each other!! Life is ironic. This is one of the most ironic I find myself in. If I were an outsider looking into this situation...I'd feel mad. I would tell myself, "hey you! get out! you're dragging yourself down, you're fooling yourself. Idiot!!"

It's just not that easy. I can say it so many times and I still won't budge. I'm a stubborn freak like that.