Word Harrassments
Okay, so they're words and the volume in carrying a voice at another human being.
I accused R of using so many pots and leaving them on the stove w/out washing them and putting them away. She hates it that I always accuse her of things she didn't do. I'm sure it annoys her. Today when I accused her of the pots, she raised her voice and said, "NO I DIDN'T!" and I insisted she did, those pots were hers. She yells again, "NO I DIDN'T!!" She murmurs in a pssy voice to S, I'm guessing something along the lines of why I always accuse her of doing things she didn't do.
My reactions: I got psst that she raised her voice. I didn't say anything about it to her though. I wanted to scream back, "Why are you screaming at me?"
It's disgusting, her little habits that she gets into around the apartment. I can't stand how she leaves her plates, cups and bowls on the living room table after she finishes eating. I hate how she lets her bloodstained underwear soaking in water for weeks at a time in the bathroom. She had leftover pizza in the oven for 2 days!! She lets food mold in the fridge. She bosses people around. She's a bossyhead. She wants people to do favors for her but when it comes down to her doing favors for somebody else, it's a tough task. I find her to be selfish and most inconsiderate. Her aspirations to become a doctor, I am most critical of--but only in my head. I find that in a doctors' kind of profession, you need to be aware and more considerate, have compassion even if it's only minor details as to how you're hurting another persons feelings.
R professes that I am one of her best friends, yet I feel as if she treats me no less than shit. When I am going through some tough and stressful times, she makes jokes out of it and laughs. She doesn't extend any sympathy. She asks for hugs from me when she is going through stress. But when I am going through stress and I need a hug, I don't feel any love from her. It's exasperating, I'm almost at my wits end.
At this moment, I'm not so fond of life right now. I don't want to deal with this. I don't know how to deal with it. More like there is no one "right" way to deal with anything, but my dilemna is I don't even know where to begin. The way I do it, I play things as if they don't bother me much. But inside, I harbor so many mixed emotions and I just need someone to comfort me. I don't want anyone to laugh at me. I need someone to love me and try to understand what's going through me. I need someone to be my friend, who will extend his/her hand and take me to new joys and discover new beginnings. I need a friend right now.
I said earlier that I feel disconnected from my family. That goes with myself right now. I just don't know how to handle myself anymore. Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes, I just don't want to care anymore. I feel like things are only going to get tougher and more complicated as I move to the future. It doesn't look bright for me.
I accused R of using so many pots and leaving them on the stove w/out washing them and putting them away. She hates it that I always accuse her of things she didn't do. I'm sure it annoys her. Today when I accused her of the pots, she raised her voice and said, "NO I DIDN'T!" and I insisted she did, those pots were hers. She yells again, "NO I DIDN'T!!" She murmurs in a pssy voice to S, I'm guessing something along the lines of why I always accuse her of doing things she didn't do.
My reactions: I got psst that she raised her voice. I didn't say anything about it to her though. I wanted to scream back, "Why are you screaming at me?"
It's disgusting, her little habits that she gets into around the apartment. I can't stand how she leaves her plates, cups and bowls on the living room table after she finishes eating. I hate how she lets her bloodstained underwear soaking in water for weeks at a time in the bathroom. She had leftover pizza in the oven for 2 days!! She lets food mold in the fridge. She bosses people around. She's a bossyhead. She wants people to do favors for her but when it comes down to her doing favors for somebody else, it's a tough task. I find her to be selfish and most inconsiderate. Her aspirations to become a doctor, I am most critical of--but only in my head. I find that in a doctors' kind of profession, you need to be aware and more considerate, have compassion even if it's only minor details as to how you're hurting another persons feelings.
R professes that I am one of her best friends, yet I feel as if she treats me no less than shit. When I am going through some tough and stressful times, she makes jokes out of it and laughs. She doesn't extend any sympathy. She asks for hugs from me when she is going through stress. But when I am going through stress and I need a hug, I don't feel any love from her. It's exasperating, I'm almost at my wits end.
At this moment, I'm not so fond of life right now. I don't want to deal with this. I don't know how to deal with it. More like there is no one "right" way to deal with anything, but my dilemna is I don't even know where to begin. The way I do it, I play things as if they don't bother me much. But inside, I harbor so many mixed emotions and I just need someone to comfort me. I don't want anyone to laugh at me. I need someone to love me and try to understand what's going through me. I need someone to be my friend, who will extend his/her hand and take me to new joys and discover new beginnings. I need a friend right now.
I said earlier that I feel disconnected from my family. That goes with myself right now. I just don't know how to handle myself anymore. Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes, I just don't want to care anymore. I feel like things are only going to get tougher and more complicated as I move to the future. It doesn't look bright for me.
posted by extreMEly at 3:28 AM
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