Teddy

I only get to see her for a couple of days a year, but when I spent my time with the little thing, I've always enjoyed myself. I miss that dog. I love her so much. My younger sister Kimmy loves the dog to bits and pieces. She said that before the family left, the dog was crying. The dog knew something terrible was going to happen.

I hate this. They have to go through so much. It's been about two years now that they've moved down to Louisiana. They've been through so much shit. So much fucking shit with the aunt, the store and now the natural disaster.

It's such a relief to know that they made it outta there all in one piece. My family is safe and staying with my grandmother right now. Thank the higher spirits, but I have to ask them why they let my family go through all this? What kind of test is all this? Maybe it isn't so good that I'm so far away from them. Before, it use to be the very thing I wanted. I hated the control that my parents had on me.

What do I do? How do I be more of a family that cares but still do the very thing I enjoy? I enjoy my independence, but I also want them to know that I would do lots of things for them. I love them so much. I feel disconnected now.

I hate being up here while they're down there.