Where are you going?

If I could have a conversation with myself. Like walk down the street, and I see me walking in the opposite direction in all my glory and fame. I would stop myself and ask, "Hey girl, where are you going? Where do you get your confidence, will you share some for me?"

"I'm going ____ and doing _____ and meeting ______. It's going to be so great, I'm going to do _____ as well! I'll be ____ and ______ and _______."

"Wow, that's so exciting and great. I envy you."

"Aw, well now. Don't be! I've just found my niche and I'm extremely happy. Just stay true to yourself, do what you need to do and don't be lazy about it. You'll get to where you want to be."

When I was a young girl, I looked at the world with bright eyes. My daydreams saw myself doing great things, wonderful experiences that would fill me with joy. Life doesn't seem to glow so strongly for me no more. The decision in deciding what I want to do with my life has left me with so much doubt and sadness in myself. Depressing to say, I just wish I could figure out what I want to do. I'm at my patience end. I'm impatient. I know it's something that nobody ever knows for sure. Everyone old and young are questioning themselves are faced with reflecting with their inner selves. Somehow I'm not satisfied with that answer. I'm not satisfied to dismiss the fact that I won't ever figure out what I want to do. I could work on it, slowly and surely it will hit me so hard, the idea will topple me over and my world turned upside down. Wouldn't that be just the thing, just how I would like it to happen to me.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm reflecting too much. I'm looking too deep that I'm not taking a step or two back and realizing something. What will it be? Where are you going? Will you give me some guidance? Or how about you live my life for me? Cuz I'm getting a little tired.