Broke is my middle name

I realize that jeez, I spend a hell of a lot of money. Money that should sit nice and quiet in my bank account. Saving for my retirement you see. Where does the money go?

I like to dine out. I like to go grocery shopping. To see all the new products and 'new looks' of anything colorful. I like to go out and watch movies, spend on cups of latte and more fast food. Sometimes when I let friends borrow money, I'm not a hound in wanting it back. It is eventually lost. Oh, and do I love to shop. If you past by me, you probably wouldn't think so since when I'm in classes, I dress myself in t-shirts and sweats. (They're so comfortable!)

In the past, I use to keep such a tight hold on my money, I don't know what happened. I just figured that I might not live such a long time, why should I deny myself any enjoyment of what I could now? Except the eating out too much part might be what will cut my life a little short.

Sometimes I think too much
It drives me crazy
I think about the future
Thoughts about my past
What do I have to learn?
Am I doing this right?
Despite all the heeds that there is no right or wrong
I feel like I am wasting my time
Other instances I feel like I should see a psychologist
I think too much
I wonder about my opportunities
There are jealousies that wells up in me when I hear
what other people are doing
I want to live the adventurous life
Yet I feel as if I am stuck here
in this one time, and one dimension
My thoughts makes me hate myself and hate this life
I feel as if I have no more to live for
because I don't know what to live for
Here's my word vomit of the day