4th of July...and my Crazy friend
4th of July in New York was great. I couldn't ask for anything better than bbq at my roommate's house, we took the public transportation to a park on Staten Island and watched the Macy's fireworks shooting from Manhattan Island. I'll try and see if I can get some pictures from a friend. *snickers*
I had a three day weekend and it wasn't as productive--schoolwise. I got a lot of relaxing moments and a conversation with a good friend of mine who I will call Lonely.
I have known Lonely since the 7th grade. She came to America from Vietnam during 6th grade and started school that same year. She started out as someone who did not speak an inkling of English but is now fairly fluent in the English language with a heavy accent. We became best friends, we would walk home from classes together, we always had much to talk about when we were friends. Things changed after we separated since 8th grade graduation, she and I went to different high schools and different colleges. I moved out of the city for college and Lonely stayed in Chicago. But we never stopped keeping in touch, always making sure that we saw each other at least twice a year and wrote to each other about once a month.
You would think, being best friends like us we would put more effort into our friendship. Conflict in that was her dad. Lonely's mom passed away while we were in high school leaving behind Lonely, brother and father in the household. Really sad since she was the youngest girl in the house and Dad did not let her do anything that a teenager should be able to do. She had to go to school, come straight home and clean, cook, household chores, etc. Poor Lonely, she is the sweetest gal ever so even though she doesn't like her dad's control she obeyed and never rebelled. Her dad remarried again just after high school ended.
However, during the past two years ever since she got a job a year ago she has had more freedom, going out to each with a couple of friends for dinner or a movie every now and then without her dad knowing. One night this past year, she disobeyed her father and stayed out late until 2 am. But point is that she doesn't get out much and her father bogging her down with every movement she gets. Whenever father and daughter gets into any arguments, father sends her on a guilt trip saying that Lonely is trying to leave her father. She's trying to be a good daughter and do everything her dad wants her to do.
Lemme tell you, earlier this past February her older brother couldn't take the family anymore and one night after a bad argument with dad. Older brother packed his bags, paid a $500 one-way ticket to Canada. Since then has not talked to the father.
The way I see it, father is driving the whole family away. The very thing that he is afraid of. He doesn't seem to understand that his daughter is living in a different world than the one HE grew up in. She needs to get out and try out her little freedom wings but her dad doesn't allow any of that at all. She's 22!!!
ok, back to present day. I had just talked with her on the phone Friday night. She tells me that she had met a guy in California 2 weeks ago and at the end of this July, she will be going to California (all the way from the Midwest) to go and see this guy!! I couldn't believe my ears! Lonely?!?... is my crazy friend. She thinks she loves him and wants to sign a marriage agreement with the guy. Love is a great thing, humans will do great strides for a person they believe they are in love with. Her feelings of love has blinded her instinct to smell danger when it is so near.
She is crazy. She hasn't met him and her relationship with him has only been 2 weeks. They're not even b/f and g/f yet, the relationship hasn't been anything solid and he wants marriage? This is the first time a guy has given her that much attention like this and she is all over it.
I spoke to the guy on the phone that same night. He was out with friends, drinking and doing what 24 yr olds do. He doesn't have a solid job and hasn't any college education background. He's all downhill for her. He is also one very impatient being. He asks for her number on her first night of chatting with him online. He gets her to go see him in California. He asks her if she will marry him. He tells her he will never hurt her, tells her to not worry. Oh, and her time of arrival to California is midnight. She's gonna meet him in the dark?!?! Do you know where this is heading? I think he smells fresh meat and is ready to pounce.
As a friend, what do I do? How do I save her from hurting herself? Do I go with her to California? Do I tell her dad to stop her? Oh, you might be wondering where her dad is in all this planning. She tells her dad it is for a wedding and went ahead to book her ticket and now that the ticket is purchased-he can't do anything about it. Another good friend of mine suggested that I tattle and tell her dad. I will feel as if I have betrayed her--but what is betrayal over my crazy friends' safety. It's all for her own good.
Why didn't she go and get the tattoo that she has been talking about? That tattoo would be her sense of rebellion. Why go to California to risk something like her LIFE. She has never stepped out of chicago ever since moving into Chicago. The world she knows of today is the world she has been living in since her young days. Haven't gotten that taste of freedom. Along with that taste of freedom, she would have learned about the dangers that is out there. I'm so scared for her. She doesn't know the danger she is getting herself into.
I had a three day weekend and it wasn't as productive--schoolwise. I got a lot of relaxing moments and a conversation with a good friend of mine who I will call Lonely.
I have known Lonely since the 7th grade. She came to America from Vietnam during 6th grade and started school that same year. She started out as someone who did not speak an inkling of English but is now fairly fluent in the English language with a heavy accent. We became best friends, we would walk home from classes together, we always had much to talk about when we were friends. Things changed after we separated since 8th grade graduation, she and I went to different high schools and different colleges. I moved out of the city for college and Lonely stayed in Chicago. But we never stopped keeping in touch, always making sure that we saw each other at least twice a year and wrote to each other about once a month.
You would think, being best friends like us we would put more effort into our friendship. Conflict in that was her dad. Lonely's mom passed away while we were in high school leaving behind Lonely, brother and father in the household. Really sad since she was the youngest girl in the house and Dad did not let her do anything that a teenager should be able to do. She had to go to school, come straight home and clean, cook, household chores, etc. Poor Lonely, she is the sweetest gal ever so even though she doesn't like her dad's control she obeyed and never rebelled. Her dad remarried again just after high school ended.
However, during the past two years ever since she got a job a year ago she has had more freedom, going out to each with a couple of friends for dinner or a movie every now and then without her dad knowing. One night this past year, she disobeyed her father and stayed out late until 2 am. But point is that she doesn't get out much and her father bogging her down with every movement she gets. Whenever father and daughter gets into any arguments, father sends her on a guilt trip saying that Lonely is trying to leave her father. She's trying to be a good daughter and do everything her dad wants her to do.
Lemme tell you, earlier this past February her older brother couldn't take the family anymore and one night after a bad argument with dad. Older brother packed his bags, paid a $500 one-way ticket to Canada. Since then has not talked to the father.
The way I see it, father is driving the whole family away. The very thing that he is afraid of. He doesn't seem to understand that his daughter is living in a different world than the one HE grew up in. She needs to get out and try out her little freedom wings but her dad doesn't allow any of that at all. She's 22!!!
ok, back to present day. I had just talked with her on the phone Friday night. She tells me that she had met a guy in California 2 weeks ago and at the end of this July, she will be going to California (all the way from the Midwest) to go and see this guy!! I couldn't believe my ears! Lonely?!?... is my crazy friend. She thinks she loves him and wants to sign a marriage agreement with the guy. Love is a great thing, humans will do great strides for a person they believe they are in love with. Her feelings of love has blinded her instinct to smell danger when it is so near.
She is crazy. She hasn't met him and her relationship with him has only been 2 weeks. They're not even b/f and g/f yet, the relationship hasn't been anything solid and he wants marriage? This is the first time a guy has given her that much attention like this and she is all over it.
I spoke to the guy on the phone that same night. He was out with friends, drinking and doing what 24 yr olds do. He doesn't have a solid job and hasn't any college education background. He's all downhill for her. He is also one very impatient being. He asks for her number on her first night of chatting with him online. He gets her to go see him in California. He asks her if she will marry him. He tells her he will never hurt her, tells her to not worry. Oh, and her time of arrival to California is midnight. She's gonna meet him in the dark?!?! Do you know where this is heading? I think he smells fresh meat and is ready to pounce.
As a friend, what do I do? How do I save her from hurting herself? Do I go with her to California? Do I tell her dad to stop her? Oh, you might be wondering where her dad is in all this planning. She tells her dad it is for a wedding and went ahead to book her ticket and now that the ticket is purchased-he can't do anything about it. Another good friend of mine suggested that I tattle and tell her dad. I will feel as if I have betrayed her--but what is betrayal over my crazy friends' safety. It's all for her own good.
Why didn't she go and get the tattoo that she has been talking about? That tattoo would be her sense of rebellion. Why go to California to risk something like her LIFE. She has never stepped out of chicago ever since moving into Chicago. The world she knows of today is the world she has been living in since her young days. Haven't gotten that taste of freedom. Along with that taste of freedom, she would have learned about the dangers that is out there. I'm so scared for her. She doesn't know the danger she is getting herself into.
posted by extreMEly at 11:58 AM
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