Be True to Myself
I have always wondered why in conversations I seem to have a lack at words. Allow me to explain this a little bit. When I am (attempting) to engage in a conversation in a big group (say 5-6+ ppl) My mouth and brain shuts down and it's only the listening that I do. I just don't feel as if I ever have anything profound to say or anything to say at all for that matter! This angers and frustrates me to no end!
To give you a better picture imagine a person doing this while standing in a group conversation:
- shine that big beautiful smile of mine when there's any eye contact,
- laugh when the group laughs, or I will occasionally when I think something is hilarious, I will be the only one in the group to laugh,
- "sometimes" I will ask questions to prompt the person talking to say more thereby "acting" as if I am part of the conversation.
No doubt, I have tried on numerous occasions to stop this and try to make a point to conversate, however, when I say things, I feel as if nobody is listening anyway. So in my head that is a negative and so I give up and listen to any other funny someone else has to say. It's not fun when I cannot contribute to a conversation.
I do great when I have one-on-one conversations but yeah, there'll be times when I feel like I'm not doing so great in those one-on-one either.
I feel as if it is so hard for me to contribute in a group conversation. Maybe it's my insecurity, and I start thinking that I have nothing to add. Plus, I don't want to look stupid in a group and when all eyes are on me I get nervous and feel stupid.
As the saying goes something like: "It's better to let a person wonder about your intelligence, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Grr. I struggle with that--what I call my lack of social skills. I shouldn't beat myself up for it, I shouldn't! Shouldn't! Shouldn't! As if saying it repeatedly is gonna help any.
To give you a better picture imagine a person doing this while standing in a group conversation:
- shine that big beautiful smile of mine when there's any eye contact,
- laugh when the group laughs, or I will occasionally when I think something is hilarious, I will be the only one in the group to laugh,
- "sometimes" I will ask questions to prompt the person talking to say more thereby "acting" as if I am part of the conversation.
No doubt, I have tried on numerous occasions to stop this and try to make a point to conversate, however, when I say things, I feel as if nobody is listening anyway. So in my head that is a negative and so I give up and listen to any other funny someone else has to say. It's not fun when I cannot contribute to a conversation.
I do great when I have one-on-one conversations but yeah, there'll be times when I feel like I'm not doing so great in those one-on-one either.
I feel as if it is so hard for me to contribute in a group conversation. Maybe it's my insecurity, and I start thinking that I have nothing to add. Plus, I don't want to look stupid in a group and when all eyes are on me I get nervous and feel stupid.
As the saying goes something like: "It's better to let a person wonder about your intelligence, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Grr. I struggle with that--what I call my lack of social skills. I shouldn't beat myself up for it, I shouldn't! Shouldn't! Shouldn't! As if saying it repeatedly is gonna help any.
posted by extreMEly at 12:01 AM
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