Today I Wondered...

Last night I bit R. It was just a playful bite. Then she comes and made the comment, "You know that turns me on."

I didn't say anything. Just pretended that I didn't hear her.

So R looked at me. And said, "What?"

"Nothing."

"What are you thinking?" She asks.

"Nothing!"

I thought about it a little. Then I said, "I know who got you into that."

I got upset that little incident and left the room. Went into my room and surfed the web a little. S was the person who use to bite R.

Last night, I realize that I hate the past. I hate what S and R had in the past. I get wired up and upset that R liked S for so long and they both built a relationship that cannot be taken back. Secretly, I wish it were me instead of S. I can feel the blood rushing to my head when I think about S. Everyone that knows the three of us would agree that S is a real nice and sweet gal.

"It's just a front." I would think to myself.

I just can't get over the fact that I can't get over what has happened in the past. I 'm still coming to terms with it after so much time. Well, it's been about 2 months now since my relationship with R. Why everytime I think of S, I get this tight knot in my stomach and I feel my piss-y side coming out of me. I can't stand hearing her name, i can't stand hearing her voice, or anything about me. I hate what she as done to my life, i hate what had happened in the past. How she was strongly part of it, yet never there. Funny that in a situation like this, it should be R that I am mad at. But nope, things are good between me and R these days. But not S.

I figured that after this year. After I graduate and all, I'll be done with all this drama. I'll move back to Chicago and live my life where ever it decides to take me.

I've decided that I won't talk to S and R as often anymore. I don't like being friends with them simply because they disappoint me time after time.